The Keeper of the Badges

CAM: *gets in line with Andrew to get new security badge*

BADGE EMPLOYEE: *looks like he plays WoW a lot... while eating lots of lard-dipped pork rinds*

GUY: Hello. I need a new card.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: May I ask the reason?

GUY: The RAS chip is broken.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Ah, I see. Do you keep it in your wallet?

GUY: Yes.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Well, that's why. We recommend placing it in one of these hard shields.

GUY: Oh, okay. I will buy one of those.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Very good. Would you like to use the same picture?

GUY: Yes, please. I actually kind of like that one because I look younger.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Guess how old I am?

GUY: Um... oh, I wouldn't begin to know...

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Just guess.

GUY: I don't know. 35? 37?

BADGE EMPLOYEE: 42.

GUY: Oh, wow!

CAM: *would have guessed 52*

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Yep. The answer to it all, or everything. No. The answer to life, the universe, and all of it.

GUY: Oh, right.

CAM: Wrong.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: From that Hitchiker's Book.

GUY: Yeah.

CAM: So wrong.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: It's actually not a bad little movie. It had Marvin Freeman play the robot.

CAM: *facepalms*

BADGE EMPLOYEE: And the girl who plays Trillian was good. She was that girl in Get Smart.

GUY: Right.

CAM: OMG, idiots.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Alright, there you go. *hands over badge*

GUY: Thank you.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Greetings.

ANDREW: Hello. I need a new badge because my name has rubbed off on this one.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Do you keep it in your wallet?

ANDREW: Sometimes. I usually hang it from my belt.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Well, it's probably because you put it in your wallet. We recommend placing it in one of these hard shields.

ANDREW: Alright, I will.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: ...

ANDREW: Well, you're the keeper of the badges, aren't you?

BADGE EMPLOYEE: That's me. The badge master.

ANDREW: *looks back at Cam*

CAM: Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh...

BADGE EMPLOYEE: And there you go. Your new badge.

ANDREW: Thank you.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: You're welcome.

CAM: Hello.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Go Mariners.

CAM: Um... yes. I need a new card.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: I actually like the Seahawks more.

CAM: They're entirely different sports teams. Oh.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: But they're not having a great season.

CAM: Well, at least they're doing better than the Cowboys. *looks back at Andrew*

ANDREW: >=|

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Indeed. May I ask where you keep your badge?

CAM: Well, I used to keep it in my wallet, but ever since I got this awesome badge shield thing, I-...

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Well, it's probably messed up because you put it in your wallet. We recommend placing it in one of these hard shields.

CAM: Yep, that's why I got this. *holds up badge shield*

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Hard. Shields.

CAM: 'Kay.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Would you like to use the same picture?

CAM: Yes, please.

BADGE EMPLOYEE: Very well. There you go. *hands over badge*

CAM: Thanks.