Progress

CAM: I worked on my new D/S for awhile these past two days. I noticed that it is significantly longer than Forrest Gump D/S. I'm about 60% done and it is already about 1.5 the length of FG DS. Other than the length (which I hope won't turn people off), the new D/S is coming along very well. My wife has been reading (or should I say proof-reading) and can't stop laughing. That is always a good sign that something is funny.

CAM'S READERS: We'll see about that.

CAM: Yes... yes you will. I have also been working on more Forrest Gump icons since they make me laugh.

CAM'S READERS: We'll see about that.

National Lampoon's Shopping Run

CAM: Every weekend, someone on my working crew is responsible for going to the commissary (grocery store) to shop for our snack fund. Our snack fund consists of the essentials: chips, cookies, candy, soda, etc. Well, today was my turn. I went to the commissary where I was told repeatedly that there is a sale on boneless frozen chicken in aisle 12. I must have heard the announcer say that 10 times while I was in the store. It was how he said it that stood out:

ANNOUNCER: Good afternoon, Ramstein commissary shoppers. Today, we are having a sale on boneless frozen chicken. Original price is $4.79. WHOOSH! Take that $1.50 off coupon! WHOOSH! Now, it's only $3.29.

CAM: As if I didn't know how to subtract numbers with decimals.

KID WALKING BY: WHOOSH!

A MOTHER WALKING BY: WHOOSH! Hehe.

CAM: Oh, no.

ANNOUNCER: *repeats earlier aisle 12 sale... more WHOOSH*

AIR FORCE SERGEANT: WHOOSH! Ha!

COMMISSARY STAFF MEMBER: WHOOSH! Hahaha!

HUSBAND AND WIFE: WHOOSH! Funny!

CAM: *facepalms*

ANNOUNCER: *repeats earlier aisle 12 sale again... "WHOOSH" is used eight times*

A FATHER WALKING BY: HA! WHOOSH!

TODDLER: WHOOSH!

OLD RETIREE: WHOOSH! Funny whipper-snapper.

CAM: *gets to aisle 12 and sees announcer announcing*

ANNOUNCER: WHOOSH! WHOOSH! Sale WHOOSH! Coupon WHOOSH! Chicken WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH!

WHAT CAM IS THINKING: *Cam walks over to boneless frozen chicken and grabs a bag. Cam walks over to announcer. Cam swings bag and hits announcer in the face.*

CAM: WHOOSH!

Forrest Gump Icons

CAM: I made some buddy icons for my Forrest Gump in D/S. I'll make more when I have the time. For now, enjoy these:









CAM: Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention that I am 50% complete with the next D/S.

Writing a new D/S

CAM: Hey everyone. At first, I wasn't getting a very big response on my Forrest Gump D/S, but lately it has been spreading. I'm finally getting e-mails from people I have never heard of complimenting me. That being so, I have started on a new D/S. I'm currently about 1/4 done. It's definitely going to appeal to a different audience, but it is still a major motion picture. Also, the movie came out just last year, so it should still be fresh in everybody's minds unlike Forrest Gump. So, stay tuned...

CAM'S READERS: "Stay tuned." This isn't TV.

CAM: Fine! Stay... online.

CAM'S READERS: But, I have to go to work today! I can't just stay here at your web page and refresh all day.

CAM: Look, you are being difficult and I don't need this right now.

CAM'S READERS: W'r srry. Wnn tlk bt t?

CAM: Don't start that no vowel crap!

CAM'S READERS: e'e o. aa a aou i?

CAM: *sighs*

Subway in D/S

CAM: I went to Subway to pick up sandwiches for my co-worker and I. I'm the easiest person to make sandwiches for. I always order stuff plain. My favorite thing to order is the Meatball Sub. No cheese, no vegetables, no sauce; plain. Well, ordering for other people is different. The sandwich my co-worker wanted was an Italian BMT with everything on it except jalapeños. I told this to the Subway employee. Here's how the conversation went:

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: Welcome to Subway. What can I get you?

CAM: One footlong Meatball Sub on white.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: Cheese on that?

CAM: No, thanks. Just the meatballs.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: Anything else?

CAM: Yes, also a footlong Italian BMT on parmesean oregano.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: Cheese on that?

CAM: Yes.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: What else?

CAM: Everything except jalapeños.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: *puts everything on and stops at the jalapeños* Did you say jalapeños on that?

CAM: No.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: *puts jalapeños on it*

CAM: No, I said no jalapeños.

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: Oh! Extra jalapeños. *puts more jalapeños on it*

CAM: ...

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: *wraps up sandwich*

CAM: ...

EVERYBODY ELSE IN LINE: *goes to Taco Bell*

SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: Have a nice day.

CAM: ...